A Dog is Truly Man's Best Friend

I love dogs. They are warm, friendly, and great judges of character - which is why most dogs love me too. Every image of classic manhood - hunting, sports, womanizing, to name a few - can be augmented with a nice dog by that man's side (golden retrievers are popular for the aforementioned examples).

One of my neighbors, a nice looking thirtysomething who spends her free time running and doing hot yoga, finally had time to talk one afternoon in the parking lot of my complex. Generally I only saw her when she was shuttling from one place to another. Our conversation looked to be light and quick again until I saw her golden retriever. I smiled, slapped my thigh, and she (the dog) came running. After Abby, the dog, rolled on her back so I could scratch her stomach - my neighbor ended up spending a good fifteen minutes just hanging out.

This incident reminds me of when I was living in Indianapolis years ago, and ran into a similar situation. I lived in a large apartment complex, and my building was occupied exclusively by myself, a minorly attractive girl, and six divourcees with kids. Great. But lo, across the street there was a gorgeous blonde 25 year old girl with a german shephard mix dog. One day when I was working from home, I went outside to talk to her as she walked her dog. The first thing she said is to keep my distance, her dog doesn't like strangers and is prone to biting. Undaunted, I looked at the dog dead in the eyes, and stuck out my hand. As the young woman looked on in fear and amazement - her dog licked my hand. I gave it a scratch behind the ears and he just melted. The woman was shocked and said, "Wow, that's amazing! He likes you!" And I simply reply, "Your dog is a great judge of character." After that, it was a lot easier to talk to her.

These little anecdotes are nothing compared to one of my fencing buddies in Minnesota who managed to train his duck hunting dog to bring him attractive women at dog shows (before he was married, of course). Then of course there was my gorgeous Siberian husky, with a coat so white that we called her Christmas. When I first started walking to school in third grade, Christmas would climb through our backyard fence and walk with me. The walk was only fifteen minutes, and she would go home when I commanded her. The amazing thing was that she knew who my friends were, and growled at the kids who didn't like me. I would send her home after I went inside the school building - but after about a week of her following me someone called Animal Control. One day Christmas came to school during morning recess, and when I was trying to get her to leave, Animal Control showed up. The dogcatcher guy asked me if she was my dog and I said yes. He then proceeded to tell me that if my parents don't chain up Christmas, he is going to put her to sleep. Then he asked me if I knew what that meant. And of course, I said no. So then he told me. I started crying, and my teacher gave me permission to walk my dog home and she called my parents and repeated what that asshole said to me. Nothing was to be done but to chain Christmas up in the backyard. It was really sad because she looked like she died a little bit always being on that chain. That dogcatcher must have been French.

They say diamonds are a girl's best friend. A shiny rock whose artificial value outside industry is propped up by the fact that one supplier controls all the mines and hoards extra output to control prices and keep them high. In other words, useless as an everyday item.

But a dog is completely different. It can be trained to protect your home, enforce the law, save your life, gather your sheep/kids, pull your sled, or get you a beer - hell all of the above! Untrained it is still loyal to the end, friendly to a fault, and will comfort you when no one else will.

Go pet a dog today.

Category:

• Relationships