Hail Free Booze!

This is awesome. Just got back from the Grand Opening of the first Fox Sports Grill Restaurant in the trendy Atlanic Center neighborhood in Atlanta, GA. Once again, the booze fairy sent me an email - only this time I had to call in an RSVP, and there were only 125 spaces available. None of my friends made the cut, or rather they were to lazy to call in their RSVP. Oh well.

The event was a little stuffy, as all Jezebel Magazine events tend to be. However, once I found out that the food was free, and the drinks were free, and the bartenders and waiters were on orders from management to "keep 'em coming," I went from sad to be by myself to being the lone victorious eagle on the mountaintop.

The venue was gorgeous, lots of open space - flat screen TVs EVERYWHERE, a really cute waitstaff, and the most beautiful view of downtown Atlanta I have seen since I moved here.

After a few Cuba Libres, some dinner, and a piece of grilled carrot cake - I had a seat out on the patio and enjoyed the cool and clear Atlanta night. Just at the point I resigned myself to hanging out alone - two cuties came over and hung out. One was smiling way too much to be married, but whatever - I am not in the mood to try anything tonight. I hung out with the cuties until they got boring, and then the band Everclear arrived in their bus. People started to loosen up before the show, and I had a nice time talking to a chick who had the ass of a hot black woman and the waist of an anorexic piece of wheat.

Everclear was awesome - especially since one again, the event was free. They sang their classic songs - with the special additions of "Brown Eyed Girl" and "967-5309 Jenny." Big name bands seem a lot cooler when they play small venues like the Fox Sports Grill and the event is once again, free. There couldn't have been more than 200 people at this thing at any time. And the place is huge.

All in all, the event was a great time. It sucks my friends couldn't make it - but I made some new ones, and managed to suck down 10 Captain and Cokes and still made it home ok.

Keep in mind that this is the third free booze event I have been to in the last six months (outside TKE events). The other two were the Chivas event, and the Guinness Believers party.

But because I am a generous soul, I will offer the top ten things I learned at these three events.

10. In Atlanta, you need to be on three mailing lists: www.atlantaillustrated.com; www.atlantabuzz.com; www.jezebelmagazine.com . This is how you learn about such things. And how the booze fairy gets your name.

9. For free booze, it is ok to be early. Usually these things are during the week, so not only do you get the early pour - but you are ready to go home earlier and can actually get up in the morning for work.

8. The women who are alone at these things are there for the alcohol too. These women are the coolest women you will ever meet. Unfortunately, coolest does not equal sluttiest.

7. Unless you brought your own sand, you will rarely find any at this seashore. Enjoy the booze, and find the hot less connected women elsewhere.

6. Build your tolerence before the event. If you are hanging with me and my friends/neighbors, this is key - because after consuming $70 worth of free booze per person, you WILL end up at another bar for cheap pitchers.

5. If you are by yourself at these events, it doesn't pay to pace the room. I often play the traveling salesman - so I am used to going out alone. And in this situation, you are best off looking good, smelling nice, and just chilling with a slight smile on your face. Women who are otherwise occupied will often find you.

4. The best looking women are the ones staffing the event. If you can talk to service industry people, you are golden.

3. RSVP and arrive on time. There is no forgiveness for these sins. If you can't follow up for free booze, what will you follow up for?

2. Designated driver, or plan sobering up time. Trust me, you will need it.

1. Make sure you had a VERY productive day before the event, because the next morning will be absolutely worthless - if you can, just call in or take vacation.

Good luck, and hopefully I will see you at the next event!

Category:

• Parties