What Women Talk About In the Bathroom...Bullshit

I will admit, I make fun of people a lot. I make fun of them to their face, behind their back, on the phone, in print, and online. I do it because it's funny, it makes me laugh, and anyone with a sense of humour will laugh too. I make fun of my friends, my enemies, my family, co-workers, former romantic interests, celebrities, strangers, and of course myself. And even when I don't do it to their face - don't think for a second I wouldn't do it given the opportunity.

But today, I am walking around in a Houston grocery store doing price/distribution checks for work, and two of my female co-workers come running out of the bathroom laughing their asses off. Seeing a late twenties black mother with two kids yucking it up with a late twenties white college girl was a bit jarring. They look at me and laugh harder, and that just pisses me off. I ask what's up and they say "Nothing..." like they reverted back to high school or something.

I was very suspicious and paranoid since one of the women just revealed that she told another co-worker that I was interested in her - seriously interested. That sucks because apparently she is interested too, but I didn't get that information until months after the fact. Thus I have to actually put forth an effort to make something happen, if something can happen at all. So now I am wondering if she is telling the college girl that I may be interested in her too - which I am, but only because I think she might be easy. (She just got out of grad school, and has that easy breezy attitude about her that single men know and love.) But apparently, that wasn't it - so what are they talking about?

It seems that they were making fun of another one of our co-workers there, a 37 y/o balding white guy who just transferred to our office in Atlanta. He is no James Bond, just your typical white dude. But he will listen to anything, including hardcore rap. Which means he is ok in my book. Yet these two girls went on and on about how pale his skin is (college girl is white herself, wow), the fact he is still single, the fact he doesn't use his cell phone - mostly only pay phones, and that he has a serial killer look to him. Now, I will admit that seeing a man who makes more than I do with fewer expenses (I think) use a pay phone was a bit jarring, but hey they are everywhere and are certainly less obstrusive. Plus I forgot to turn off my cell phone during the sales meeting today and I got a call from a contributor who will remain nameless - so I don't have any room to criticize. But why make fun of this guy?

The kicker of course is after the women/bitches had their laugh, they walk outside and see him right outside the bathroom door - on the pay phone. They have no clue whether or not he heard them.

After one of the women (the black one) admitted to me what was going on, I tore her a new one. First off, a girl fresh out of graduate school who comes off as a reject from a Girls Gone Wild tryout needs to shut the fuck up. I swear if anyone had any balls and game (I would, but I am going after someone else, mentioned above) at all in my Atlanta office, she would be walking in on a Friday morning with a "ho stroll." The NYC office has some playas, she won't be walking straight long. The other woman, who is generally cool - should have known better. She has dealt with being a single mother, bullshit from a lot of people, and most of that BS coming from assholes at work talking shit about HER!

The reason this pisses me off is because I TOTALLY understand what it is like to have people fuck with you behind your back. Doing it for pure entertainment and torture is one thing - doing it on the job is quite another. It's bad enough that members of my home fraternity chapter who have NEVER partied with me tell stories about me that have never happened and are also disgusting and gross; it is quite another when some asshole mentions in the home office that I watch daytime soaps when I work from home. (What straight man watches daytime soaps?)

So the lesson here is if you are going to talk shit about someone - own what you say, and be prepared for someone to hear it. My name is all over this blog, and if the persons involved read this post - let me know, and I will have a nice big belly laugh for ya.

Category:

• Society