Golden Globes: And the Gays Have It
This year's Golden Globe nominees for best dramatic motion picture:
1. Brokeback Mountain
2. The Constant Gardener
3. Good Night, and Good Luck
4. A History of Violence
5. Match Point
That's right, folks, you've never seen (and possibly never heard of) the 5 "best" dramatic movies of 2005. There can only be one reason for this: you, your family, and your friends are philistines. The movie industry goes out of its way to produce pseudo-intellectual, contrivedly controversial, and rarely watched films, and you just avert your bigotted eyes, sheltered in your safe life of stable marriages, functional families, and primitive belief in deities. Go back to Utah, puritans!
If I may break character, it's clear the film industry has been in shambles this year, but we didn't really need such dramatic verification. Although award shows should not judge movies based solely on popularity, for them to completely ignore it damages their own credibility, and traduces their own significance (which may be a good thing, actually). The highest-grossing of the 5 above movies is "The Constant Gardener," at #67 on Box Office Mojo's 2005 list. No doubt "Brokeback Mountain" will be able to attract plenty of torquoise-clad viewers from New York, LA, and Boys Town Chicago, but I wonder how well it will do in the state it was set in, Wyoming, where cowboys are more likely to have sex with cows than with other men.
The state of comedy is not much better: the nominees for best "comedy or musical" include 2 musicals, an unknown comedy about a dysfunctional family (never seen that before), "Pride and Prejudice" (which would make me want to castrate myself more than want to laugh), and, absurdly, "Walk the Line," which is a more deserving drama than the 5 best dramatic movies. There is nothing to laugh at here.
If you include the requirement that movie-fans have actually heard of the movie, here are the true nominees for best dramatic movie:
1. King Kong
2. Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire
3. Crash
4. Walk the Line
5. Cinderella Man
And for comedy:
1. The 40-Year Old Virgin
2. Charlie and the Chocolate Factory
3. Wedding Crashers
4. Hitch
5. The Dukes of Hazzard
Okay, so I'm kidding about that last one.
another tale spun by Nati @ 1:16 PM
1 comments
links to this post
1 Comments:
"Good Night and Good Luck" was pretty good, actually. Cronenberg is usually at least interesting, but I must admit I couldn't work up any curiosity about "A History of Violence."
Wasn't "Constant Gardener" about spies? It was based on a le Carre novel and apparently had something to do with pharmaceutical companies testing on Africans. (As opposed to keeping medicine out of the hands of Africans outright, of course, and letting them rely on folk remedies -- that's very humanitarian.)
"Good Night and Good Luck" is very left-wing, but at least it has a definite viewpoint, and dammit, yes, it is a smart movie. Why should everything be geared toward people with the mentaility of 5-year-olds? To hell with the median American IQ.
Post a Comment
Links to this post:
Create a Link
<< Home