Not Again!?!! - 37-Year Old Woman Arraigned For Screwing Kid

http://www.accessnorthga.com/news/hall/newfullstory.asp?ID=98854

These stories really do pop up about once a month. In Coletrain.org's continuing coverage of MilfWatch 2005, we learn the story of Lisa (middle name omitted because she is not an assasin) Clark, a divourced woman who started a relationship with her son's classmate - got pregnant, and then married him. Now the boy was 15 and did not have parental consent to the marriage, but thanks to Georgia's Shotgun Wedding clause (not the official name, just calling 'em how I see 'em) in the marriage statute - the couple were able to marry due to the pregnancy. And a day later police got around to responding to the grandmother's criminal complaint about the whole affair - filed five weeks previous. I guess even Gainsville police believe in the power of love. Or won't deny a teenager the ability to fulfill his MilfHunter.com fantasies.

Now while this woman is obviously backwoods, she isn't all that unattractive for being damned near 40. Hell, even the Justice of the Peace who married the couple thought she was in her early 20s. When asked by ABCNews reporters why go so young, she said "Well, I married someone my age, and that didn't work out. I dated guys my age and that didn't work out either." Now while this woman is obviously backwoods... Wait, that wasn't me repeating myself - that just true for different reasons. Then she goes into a history lesson about 13-year old girls being sold into marriage for land and cattle or some claptrap. Of course, back then the survival rate was much lower - a low rate that made it possible for a fatass like Benjamin Franklin to be considered the pimpass playa of his day. (The friggin History Channel did a story of his exploits - with commercials filmed to the theme of Tone Loc's "Wild Thing!") Plus kids weren't any more mature then, but it didn't take much maturity to plow fields and kill British and such. Man, now that's what kids should be doing these days instead of screwing around on the internet reading about MILFs.

While I realize it is tough for an attractive single mother to realize that she is simply a failure with men - sometimes you just gotta suck it up and watch the soaps and eat bon-bons all day like a normal woman. It's like the aborted fetus that is post-modern feminism survived the Contract With America and climbed out of the dumpster for all to see. I mean, I like watching Emma Starr and her ilk online like any normal red-blooded American with high speed broadband - but think of the consequences if moms went around banging kids all the time? Hell, one of my good friend's has a very pretty wife who teaches High School! If I was him, I would make her quit and take a job as a kindergarten teacher in Barrington,IL - those kids will never have any game. The implications of this crap are just monstrous - I mean, fathers of gay kids will never deal with Junior's drama club chum screwing the missus while he is having another late night at the office/strip club. Lisa Clark and her ilk are turning the whole system upside down!

One last note: Qantas Airlines refuses to allow young girls flying alone to sit next to men, simply because there is a perception men will try something. Which is pure bullshit. Knowing what I know about Aussie women, much of that being influenced by friends, personal experience, and my wild imagination - I think that young boys flying alone should either sit next to men; or when sitting next to an older woman he should get a large blanket. No one wants to see that on such a long flight.

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• TeacherWatch