She's a Whore! Denny Crane!

When I don't go out on Saturday night (read: when I don't get home from Friday night until 3pm on Saturday afternoon), I love watching "Cheaters." "Cheaters" is a WB show created by Bobby Goldstein, a former Dallas divource attorney who realized that there was much unintentional comedy when someone cheats on their spouse. Of course, this comedy turned to tragedy for Goldstein and hilarity for the rest of us when his second wife was caught cheating on him AFTER he started the show. It is no shock that he vowed never to remarry.

The basic premise of the show is that a man or woman is convinced his partner is cheating, and goes to Cheaters for help. Cheaters then assembles a private investigator team equiped with cameras and other cool surveillence gear and follows the suspected cheater around town until they find enough juicy dirt to confirm the cheating. After such data is analyzed and what not, Joey Greco then shows the edited video to the wronged party and there is the predictable anger and sadness once the cheating has been confirmed - usually through video of kissing, holding hands, sound of cheatee on phone in presence of the other woman/man, and trips to the store that the cheater would never make with the one he is supposed to be with.

After the truth is in the open, there is the crucial commercial break. This break is important so the viewer can pop some popcorn, grab a beer, and use the restroom to be ready for what is next: THE CONFRONTATION.

This part of the show is like Jerry Springer - only real. After Joey has consoled the victim, he radios for the current location of the cheater and his paramour! And then he very soothingly tells her or him, your spouse is currently with his lover and we can be there in a few minutes. Would you like to confront him? Of course the answer is always yes. So then they load up in a van with tons of cameramen, bright lights, oom mikes, and extra PIs for security. And then they role up on the couple in the act, with plenty of bystanders around and no escape. Sometimes it is at a restaurant, sometimes the confrontation is at the lover's home and he/she/both are naked - but it is always insane and there is plenty of screaming. Joey Greco, calm as lake, asks the cheater why he/she did what they did, but rarely do you get a good answer.

My personal favourite is the confrontation at the barber shop where a woman confronts her boyfriend. After the intial screaming, she yells at some bystanders "Where's the bitch!" And the bystanders immediately point to the woman trying to make a getaway out the back.

In addition to Joey Greco getting stabbed during one of these confrontations, one of the more hilarious episodes dealt with an estranged husband confronting his wife as SHE WAS BANGING A POLICE CAPTAIN IN AN UNMARKED CITY VEHICLE! Not surprisingly, the wife claimed assault against the Cheaters crew for trying to keep her on camera. Sounds like the police captain was trying to stick it to Greco for sabotaging his career. Getting caught in your skivvies on national television can't help anyone - unless your last name happens to be Clinton. ("Gotta bill in my mouth like I'm Hillary Rodham!" Yeah bitches.) So, who is Bobby gonna hire to defend him and the show? Denny Crane!

Category:

• Sex
• Society
• Relationships