Divas On The Railroad Tracks

There are few concepts better than the Wednesday Night Drinking Club. Once a month hundreds of Atlanta's young and sexy professionals gather at a different bar or small club and "network." Networking of course is the new business speak for getting drunk and trying to pick each other up, or standing around and trying to look cool - the latter not being any kind of networking at all. Last night at Aiko was no different with me meeting up with one of my new co-workers and some friends from out of town. My co-worker, Alexis, looked pretty cute and is either a) a fun loving and great person who will make a welcome addition to my partying crew or b) is going to get me fired and sue me for sexual harrassment. Either scenario will make for a great story. In any case, I got the Atlanta Illustrated guy to take a picture of us. Given my fresh hair cut and general good looks, plus the fact that Alexis looks like the typical Georgia girl, this is my best chance yet to make the website's picture section next week.

While hanging out with Alexis and my boys was a great time, after Alexis left to go home (she still likes getting in early to work... chump), and my boys left because they had an early drive back to Berkeley - I was stuck at Aiko because I still needed to sober up a bit before I left. Plus I wanted to mack on a cute blonde I was checking out before everyone arrived. She was real cute with a petite body, nice chesticles, and almost a diva attitude. I didn't hit on her before because I don't like divas, but after everyone left - my confidence was high, I was feeling lightly toasted, and I could care less whether she liked me or not. This state of being is precisely how you approach any diva, although the alcohol is not entirely necessary.

Women who refer to themselves as divas have a very high opinion of themselves, a much lower relative opinion of everyone else, and an over inflated sense of entitlement. That entitlement piece burns me more than anything, since everything I wanted as a child - a ten-speed bike, a pair of Oakleys, a die-cast Voltron, and a decent computer - I had to buy on my own as an adult. That taught me that sometimes life doesn't hand anything to you - and that you are always happiest when you are living the wishes you had as a child.

Divas, on the other hand, expect people to bow down to their every wish, and they will spit on your head if you do so. This also means they aren't truly happy until someone will kick them in the teeth, and then give them the Heimlich manuevre to cough them up again. That's where I come in, the guy who doesn't offer dinner on the first date, the guy who doesn't buy drinks, yet will drop you off at your apartment the next morning and give you a firm handshake. (I don't recommend offering the handshake instead of a kiss after sex - I thought she was going to throttle me.) This kind of attitude seems almost churlish; but it attracts women from Atlanta, GA to Hollywood, CA. Most famously Britney Spears, Shannon Elizabeth, and Jessica Simpson all married guys who mastered the emotional Chuck Norris roundhouse kick to the mouth. And they are still looking for guys who can give it to them again.

The lesson here is if you are a woman and you want free drinks from a good guy, buy him one first. If you want flowers everyday, act like you don't deserve them. If you want a guy to dote on you from the start - pretend you don't deserve it. Else you might run into trouble. After all, divas are all in danger of attracting primadonnas.

Category:

• Society
• Relationships
• Sex