Bellydancing Is Not For Everyone

One of my buddies invited me to check out his wife's bellydancing show last week. When I think bellydancing, a few images comes to mind. One is watching the Divali dance practices in college where I really learned to appreciate Indian women. Another is me sitting on fancy pillows wearing a gold threaded dashiki and a red turban calling for my pretty dancing girls as I drink blood wine and eat hunks of goat while my pretty Christian concubines feed me delicious grapes. So I was taken aback when none of the women at the event appreciated my exclaimation before the beginning of the show, "I am king of all the lands. Bring me your finest meats and cheeses!!"

While I knew that bellydancing has a long history, what I didn't realize was that it was typically a single sex affair. From the explaination given by the girl at the right in the top photo - women danced for each other as entertainment, and also for exercise and to ease childbirth. And here I thought it was to gear up the men to run train through the harem. Apparently, the liberalism that America imported to the world in the 1960's influenced the bellydancing countries to start allowing guys to watch the show. Which is why I say, "God Bless America - and no place else."

Had I understood the bit about it being primarily for women, I wouldn't have been so upset to see so many unattractive women on stage in the first act of the show. I brought one of my friends with me, and he was pretty much ready to kick my ass since we shelled out $20 a piece for this thing. There were mostly women in the audience, and even a few of them were taken aback by the 220lb women with the long C-section scar. Act two was much better and most of the women were attractive and professionals, which was fun to watch and saved me from much mocking from my friends.

The last dancer was the headliner - Suhaila Salimpour, who is attractive and very good at her craft, but has an ego bigger than mine. Her music was going for a good five minutes before she sauntered to the stage. And after an admittedly impressive show, she stayed on for 3-4 encores before ending the night. This wouldn't be important except that it prompted my friend to comment that the performance was like bad sex - it just wouldn't stop. Somehow, my defense of Suhaila was widely condemned by every woman in earshot - even though I reasoned that with moves like hers she is probably damned good in bed. Hey, it's gotta be true!

Click here for highlights from the night. The pictures are fuzzy, but you can figure them out.

Category:

• Entertainment