Le Tour De Booze

Most drinking games are derived from the college experience. In high school, it is an adventure just to retrieve alcohol from connections, parents liquor cabinets, or with fake IDs. Yet in college, alcohol is in abundance - the challenge now is to drink it in large quantities as entertainingly as possible. After college, men and women are meant to out grow such unwise activities; certainly there is no reason to invent any new games.

But some guys are different. My friends and I were hanging out at Churchills in Buckhead last Monday, celebrating the 4th of July on the 3rd. Because in the working world, a non-working holiday is best celebrated with a hangover and late morning after partying the night before. And as we were sitting around having a grand time just talking and enjoying life - one of the more sober guys starts making fun of Dennis' bright yellow button-down Polo shirt. We all join in until this same guy proposes an idea. This idea is to honor of the first days of le Tour de France by using this shirt as a jersey to honor the current leader in the drink count. Dennis of course wasn't the drink leader, so his shirt was coming off. Dennis wasn't happy about losing his shirt, literally, and was determined to drink it back. And so the race begins.



Rick starts it off by parading around in the yellow jersey with everyone else yelling whatever song you are supposed to yell when during the jersey presentation in the real race. When Jake won the jersey, he decided it was time for some females to give homage. Of course, the group of four hot girls we approached weren't interested in listening to a very drunk guy with a yellow shirt on accompanied by a big black guy snickering like a schoolgirl.

Nevertheless, nature comes through and sends over an equally drunk girl with very nice titties and a strong case of LSE. And a digicam. Not only does she cheer and take pictures of Dennis winning back his jersey/shirt - she kisses him and wants to pose for pictures with all of us! Something is wrong with this picture though. She was enthusiastic without being seductive - so I pretty much knew she wasn't going home with any of us. Yet she squealed in delight when Dennis stuffed his face in her chest and made strange noises. And she insisted on posing for "hot" pictures kissing me as she grabbed my junk. Three times. Rick took a picture with my camera, but explaining the principles of flash photography to a Tour de Booze participant is like telling a prostitute she smells funny. There really isn't any point. And just as things have been going for me these last few weeks, it's all fun and games until the boyfriend shows up.

There were about six or seven of us at the table - and I was one of the last people to buy around of eight drinks. Do the math, a lot of Captains were downed that day.




Unfortunately, I was four drinks off the lead - and there was no way I could both win the jersey and walk out of the bar on my own power, much less sober up enough to drive home. Dennis eventually got his jersey back for good, and Jake who came in second ended up puking in a bathtub later that night. That mountain course is a killer.