We Like You Personally, But Screw Off

Viacom/Paramount finally came to its senses and let Tom Cruise go.  I enjoyed Mission Impossible I/II and The Last Samurai - although the end where Cruise moves in with the dead badass samurai's wife and kid was weird - but there is no way Cruise should have the power he does in Hollywood and act like a douchebag.  And finally Sumner Redstone agrees.  The best is when Sumner said, "As much as we like him personally, we thought it was wrong to renew his deal."

 

Apparently it is bad news these days when people say they like you.  Now that I think about it - things tend to go well for me when people express how much they don't like me.  My first boss out of college made my life miserable, yet somehow I managed to get promoted in spite of myself.  When I was living in Minneapolis, I laughed at the girl I was dating at the time because she still cooked my birthday dinner in spite of me standing her up for date the previous weekend (I was too lazy to get out of bed.) 

 

I think it all has to do with the compliment sandwich that is being pushed in management seminars these days.  To soften the blow of a negative evaluation, the manager or whoever has to say something good first, then bad, then something good or encouraging to follow it up.  Of course, since the manager is only really concerned with saying something bad (else he would have come out with it before it was a real problem), he isn't going to work too damned hard to put any real emphasis on the good.  Which gives the impression that whatever good you are doing is worthless.  For example, if someone says "You are great with clients, but the field guys don't like you, yet you are a nice person,"  chances are the client thing isn't going to help you get over the field guy issue.  And there is no point in being nice.  Even though the clients bring in the topline.  Idiots. 

 

Contrast the above example with an evaluation I actually got years ago.  "I really don't like working with you, and that is reflected in your rating.  However, the reason your rating is so high is that you spent most of the year working for someone else, and they had a high opinion of you.  And I didn't have any influence over rating that part of the year."  This is what I call a knuckle sandwich.  My boss didn't like me, and I didn't like her - but she couldn't control my rating (which was pretty high), so she tried to make me feel bad about the fat bonus check coming my way.

 

In business and in life - being liked is tertiary.  Having a great reputation is number one, doing a great job is number two.  When dating, this is very true.  Guy or girl, if you have a great reputation and you deliver - you can be a horrible person and never be lonely until morning.