Word From Palm Coast, FL

Just like the Special Olympics.

I haven't been posting much lately since I am here at a software users conference in Central FL. The event is being held at a resort/condo complex - which basically equals a place that has all the comforts of a home you can't afford, and none of the hot babes that tend to run around Florida resorts. I am a bit sad because my heart is in Miami with the Spain Train and all the girls there who can hook me up with tickets to the Penthouse party on Saturday.

However, the advantage to a user conference is that we need to keep the customers and prospects engaged and happy - and if that means plying them with alcohol and expensive cigars, than so be it. I love a good cigar, but being drunk on a Tuesday and Wednesday night with no available women in sight just seems like a waste. Well, there were a couple - which is just as good as zero. A given woman is usually completely safe if she is surrounded by a gaggle of horny men - just as long as those men aren't into running train or gang rape.

One bright spot was tonight in Saint Augustine. After dinner, we wandered over to a dive bar and ran into a couple reasonable looking local chicks there. As all 25 of us strolled in, the fact that those girls focused on the number of good looking guys and not the sheer number of us filling the bar let me know they were in play. It looked like I was in business until we noticed two guys on either side of a table with some sort of referee in between. I wasn't sure until I saw the ads everywhere, but then I knew.

We ran into a Rock Paper Scissors competition. Don't get me wrong, I loved this game back in third grade when I still hated girls and loved math. But a full on RPS competition is just like the Special Olympics - even if you win, you are still retarded. So imagine how bad I felt when I lost in the first round! This, added to the fact I was still stone sober after drinking six Mojitos (mostly mint and water, now I think about it), and I was pretty surly all evening.

Corporate entertaining has its place - and I need to get to know and bond with my co-workers, but at the same time... it still feels like work. Hard work. I can suck it up and play friendly for one night, or even two nights in a row. But being new guy on night three, while the regulars get to make dirty sex jokes with the cute Aussie girls, while I bristle at the thought of my Grrl Power boss ripping my balls off if I say something stupid is too much to ask at my current salary level. Maybe I read too much War Nerd, but I think there has got to be more to life than just being a salaryman who enjoys a junket or two.