I Digress: Top Five Misconceptions From High School

High school kids are pretty dumb. As I have said elsewhere, they are like nearly done cake - they look nice and ready on the outside, but they are squishy and gross and immature on the inside. And during that idyllic time, many misconceptions come to fruition that I am going to explode, right now.

1) Friends/Enemies Forever. Unless you stay around your hometown during and after college, chances are there is no way this is going to happen. Where you choose to go to college is going to influence you more than the High School you are forced to attend, and making friends is going to be a lot easier because you will more than likely have more in common. Plus, unless you are a sucker for drama, it will be easy to avoid situations where you can rekindle old rivalries.

2) High School sports don't matter. Maddox always likes to talk about how high school football stars will be bagging his groceries, but that is not always the case. Sports, especially in high school, teach teamwork, leadership, and discipline under pressure - which is a perfect fit for folks in the business world, media, and well... sports. Plus I know personally three guys who started out bagging groceries, and then worked their way into a comfortable $70K salary in the grocery industry. Also, if you ran track or played basketball in high school - you won't necessarily have to work your ass off to cut a trim figure. Hell, I didn't start playing sports until college - and it shows.

3) You Will Never Use High Level Math. First, let's set the expectations. Algebra is NOT high level math. If you can't understand algebra, life is just gonna suck for you. And while not everyone uses Taylor series on a regular basis - acceleration and decelaration are easily understood using calculus... and these principles can help people understand why engine braking during rush hour is a REALLY bad idea.

4) You Will Never Use History Learned in High School. If you think this is true, then I hope you don't vote. While High School history classes are no substitute for research and self-study, even public schools tell the story about the CIA overthrowing Iranian President Dr. Mossadegh in the 1950s - causing the otherwise cosmopolitan Iranian people to be kinda pissed at us for a long time. Why does most of the world hate America right now? Not because we are cowboys, but because in a historical context, none of our foreign policy makes any damned sense.

5) The nerds will be rich, the jocks will be poor. People point to Bill Gates, Paul Allen, and Larry Ellison and say that the nerds make it - but with the exception of Paul Allen, these guys are more opportunistic bastards than nerds. Truth be told - if you have two guys, one a computer club geek who is excellent at building databases, and the other a hard drinking football player who is smooth with the cheerleaders, the nerd might win on paper, but not once all the chips are in.

Let's say Steve the Nerd goes to Reed, and gets a job at Microsoft writing code. He will make a starting salary of say $50-$60K and he will work his ass off 7am-7pm, unless he gets flex hours (10am-10pm). He will make a ton of money, and spend most of it on beer, which means he will save most of it because he is working all the time. Fred the jock goes to a State school, joins a fraternity, and buckles down because his GPA is hurting the average and gets a job in sales, after nailing the interview with the cute HR lady. Depending on the job he will make $40-$55K starting salary. Is Steve the Nerd ahead? So far, but Fred isn't done yet. He works a typical 8am-6pm day, plus travel with all expense paid. Depending on the company he will get a company car plus gas, and cell phone is also reimbursed. At this point Fred makes less money than Nick, but he also works fewer hours, and doesn't spend any money when he is on the road. The road piece is key because every true salesman knows how to arrange his vacation around his business trips so airfare/travel and hotel are covered. Plus since Fred is in a lower tax bracket, he will even keep more of his money. All of this before incentive bonuses are added in to the equation.

There's really no point to all of this. I actually enjoyed high school. My foot was screwed up most of those four years, but I still had BMOC status equal to a captain of some crappy sport like tennis. The only people I cared about in high school I am still friends with, and most girls liked me, even if my parent's refused to let me date. I just get tired of hearing high schooler these days bullshit all the time.