Kim Kardashian: Mom Must Be So Proud

One happy screwed-up family

There is a not lot going on today, and given the choice between discussing Newt Gingrich's para-run for the White House and Kim Kardashian's latest attempt to kill by STD, the choice was easy.

Mom must be feeling great right after Mother's Day. The sex tape was one thing, and now she gets to hear that her daughter gets set up with boys by Matt Leinart and Paris Hilton. Given the reason for her late husband Robert's fame, I can only imagine the conversation over New Orlean's RB Reggie Bush.

Kim: He is so fucking sexy, and rich. More people notice me when I am with him!
Mom: Does he have a temper honey? Does he wear Bruno Maglis?
Kim: Why the fuck would you ask that? I mean, he hate fucks me if he sees me grabbing another guy's ass - but that's feels AWESOME!
Mom: Well, he doesn't get really jealous, does he? Robert would turn in his grave if he thought you would get in the same mess as Nicole.
Kim: What the hell are you talking about? Reggie is not fucking OJ Simpson! He loves me!
Mom: Come on Kim... you don't exactly come off as the pinnacle of fidelity. And I am not spotting you for your Valtrex refill if you keep this up!
Kim: Penna of what? Did you call me a fucking penis? Fuck you mom, I don't need your charity. My dealer said to just pour coke on the sores, it will do the same thing.
Mom: Yes, thank you for your Mother's Day gift. One less daughter.

I'm not saying Reggie Bush will marry Kim Kardashian and then kill her... but I'd understand.