Celebrating My Non-Birthday

Miss Daisy got me a copy of Patton Oswald's latest CD. Oswald is funny in small doses, and one of his less funny jokes was that after age 21, only ages in multiples of 10 matter until you hit 91. In any case, I decided to do something for my 28th. Last year, I spent my 27th with a bottle of Johnny Walker Black and a snifter of haterade as a chaser. No sense in doing that again.

This year was going to be easy going - a nice happy hour around the corner from my house. Unfortunately, a huge storm insured only the most dedicated friends would show up - and even I managed to get drunk as soon as I got home from work and was 20 minutes late. Yes, I was 20 minutes late to my own birthday happy hour that I planned. Yes, I am a complete jackass. About 15 people or so popped in and out, mostly Wash U folks and my regular drinking buddies.

After things died down, a few of us hit the clubs in Midtown. There I managed to hit on/grope a beautiful girl giving out free rubber bracelets for FOX's new cop drama, "K-Ville." Something about her dark caramel skin and awesome long hair made her irrestible. Unfortunately, I was pretty sloppy - and I am sure the over/under on her deleting my number from her cell is about six minutes.

SEXY UPDATE: I really don't give myself enough credit. She didn't delete the number, she called, she likey, and she wants to go out. In fact, I was one of the few people she actually gave a bracelet - she sucks at promotions. Plus, I was as sloppy as I remember. Who knew?

Here are some quotes really made this evening memorable.

Me: "She always wants to be the center of attention."
Dennis: "That's easy... just rail her in the middle of the bed!"

LW: "Yes she's hot. But I am not going after a woman the same age as my mother."
Me: "Whoa, I know your mom. Now I can't go after her either!"

Dennis: "So how was Midtown?"
Me: "It was typical, gave this gorgeous black girl my number..."
Dennis: "Whoa, you hit on a black girl? That's news!"

Me: "I like her, I'd love to date her, I just never think about calling her until I am half-wasted."
Miss Daisy: "You truly are a jackass."

Waitress: "You guys are new, but I had this guy before."
Me: grins ear to ear
Dennis: "You just made his entire weekend!"