Halloween Approaches...

And for once I will be in Atlanta. There are a ton of parties planned for this weekend, and I will make my rounds in between fencing tournaments and attempts to stay sober.

The sober thing actually feels kinda new. One of my friends from Minneapolis came to town last weekend and we threw down pretty hard. Hard as in late night stops at both Waffle House and Krystal's in the same weekend hard. I knew it was time to go dry for a while when various conversations take this direction.

DunwoodyGirl: So I have been dating around a lot, but haven't found the right guy. And I am obsessed over a guy in Peachtree City who is getting married...
Me: You see, your problem is that you need to get fucked. Hard. Soon.

Me: So, just curious, when did you get your boob job?
FakeBoobsGirl: Hmm, that's a little personal.
Me: Well, I over heard you mention it before. They look fantastic though!
FakeBoobsGirl: Do they make me look fat?

Me: So, you think I can home run this girl?
Dick: Dude, why? She's stinky man! You gotta have some kind of standards...
Me: Hey, I got a shower! And a bath!
Dick: Yeah, well I don't know about you, but being stinky is a deal breaker for me.

After that weekend came sales meetings in Florida and lots of wine and scotch. I love scotch (scotchy scotch scotch!), but my body has had enough. Plus I am tired of my pants using my eyes for a periscope.

So Happy Halloween to you all, and let me know if you need a ride. Friar Bellow's can always be trusted.



I was just ministering extreme unction!