Insane Things Girls Have Said To Me In The Club

Check out the above video. Holy crap, it's funny 'cause its true. It reminds me of all the times I have been in the bar or club and have been unlucky enough to have reasonable people around me as a buffer. I have heard some pretty outlandish things over the years.

• Wow, you look a lot like Usher. I know, I've met him for realz. You are cute. [Then she walks away]
• You seem really nice. I bet you have great parents.
• Why were you talking to that other girl? I'm going to kill you.
• I saw you kissing that little red-headed slut. She wasn't even hot. You suck.
• Can you flag down the bartender and get me three vodka-Red bulls, and two gin and tonics? You're paying for them, right?
• What the fuck! You should pay for the pleasure of my company!
• Wow, you look like Forrest Whittaker!
• You ARE Forrest Whittaker! Don't lie to me! I know how you Hollywood types are.
• I've got a boyfriend, but you are invited to my pool party tomorrow night...
• [Strange woman randomly french kisses me when she walks through the barroom door] We shouldn't do this, my husband is coming in right now.
• This town is so racial. Look, that line across the street is nothing but black people, and this one is nothing but white people. [Never mind I am standing behind the white girl talking.]
• Can I touch your hair?
• Can I touch your [bald] head?
• Why won't you buy me a drink?
• Why aren't you smiling?
• You don't look happy.
• You're black, what are you doing here? [The girl speaking to me was an African-Puerto Rican mix]
• Wow, I'm blacker than you are! [Said by a native born Dutch girl]
• You are awesome, you would be perfect for a girl I know in my office. She is a bit overweight and has two kids, are you cool with that?
• You had better buy us some shots, or we won't leave you alone with our friend.

Sometimes, it makes my head spin. Most times, the craziness sends me running to the bottle. And people wonder why I drink so hard when I am out.