Turn on Your Lights - Reduce Hot Air Emissions

"It's 8pm on a Saturday, baby: let's turn off the lights." No, that's not Coletrain with the first chick to black out this evening. Rather, it's the mantra of the latest environmentalist cult, Earth Hour, a tool of the once sane non-wrestling-affiliated WWF. This website advocates turning off your lights between 8-9pm tonight, either to show your neighbors you're a more earth-conscious douchebag than they are, or to pay some credit off your carbon footprint for your 8-hour round trip in your snowboard-laden SUV from San Francisco to Lake Tahoe.

This is because you couldn't just fumble for the remote in the dark.

Meanwhile, it's almost April, and it snowed twice last week in Chicago. Following Al Gore's well-researched law of nature that unseasonably warm temperatures wherever Al Gore is hawking his theories serve as proof of global warming, I'd like to suggest my own law: if I'm tired of being fucking cold, it's proof of global cooling. I too have scientists to back my claim, so it must be true. So please, let's save the earth of cold weather and douchebags at the same time: turn on the lights between 5-6am tonight, when you normally wouldn't have them on...that is, unless you're like Coletrain, and might be ashamed of what you took home.