MADD Needs To Go Back In The Kitchen

Candy Lightner, founder of Mothers Against Drunk Driving, has condemned the group as becoming neo-prohibitionist - to her credit. While fighting drunk driving is an admirable and necessary goal - fighting drinking period goes against the core of American tradition and is fascist and wrong.

So why is it necessary for MADD to comment on Amtrak, the train company, giving away free booze on its higher end service? Amtrak, in order to convince people that buying a $800 train ticket to cross the country is a good idea, is giving away $100 worth of booze as part of the deal. But Misty Moyse is afraid someone might overindulge... Who cares? Sure, 14 neat scotches might be a bit excessive - but if you are stuck on a train for two and a half days, what difference does it make?

Misty Make-too-much-noisy has got it all wrong. Going after bars that stay open later than cab companies is one thing (bad enough in my opinion), going after companies trying to provide a service that is perfectly safe is another. All you do is lose credibility for yourself.

Most of the nuts out there are completely sober - including the ones Sen. Obama has "vowed" to go after. Let people drink in peace.

MissDaisy in ATL Remix

Some of you might remember what happened last year. Mostly gyros, ligers (oh my), Thundercats (are loose!), and enough alcohol to denature what's left of my hardwood floors.

This year I am probably going to be subjected to more MissDaisy one liners like these.

• Dude, you have a body by Miller
• Walking the dog? Did you have a Michael Vick moment?
• Wow, I think your theme song is "Make it Rain"

Of course, my revenge will be that I currently have the tolerance of a kung fu master getting kicked in the ballast. The booze will be swift, and hopefully going only one way.

Chances are good that my promise to MissDaisy's family that he will get home in one piece may be slightly exaggerated. As Nati and MadAngler can attest... a drunken weekend with me and my crew will turn you into into your favorite 1980s-1980s character. Nati turns into chair throwing Roddy Piper, MadAngler turns into Dr. Nick Riviera, and MissDaisy turns into Mrs. Betty Slocombe.

And I became HE-MAN... The most powerful man in the UNIVERSE! Seriously... keep me away from swords when I am drunk.

Happy Memorial Day

I hope you had a great time with you and yours. I tried to take it easy, and do things like try to learn Turkish (more on that in the coming months), work, and avoid getting arrested.

I did make it out to a friend's pool party where the girl to guy ratio was 2:1. Since there were nine people at this thing, it made conversation very estrogen-y.




This picture tells you everything you need to know about this party. If you don't get it, let me break it down for you.

• In spite of the ratio, this was the most interesting scene of the evening.
• The dog was the most enthusastic drinker at the party. I was a close second.
• The dog and I were the only black people there.
• If it wasn't for the dog, there wouldn't be any pictures from this evening.
• All this, and the dog is wearing a gay hankerchief and is scarcely bigger than a football.

Other than that, it was a great time!

Friday Night: Sponsored By Guinness

Friday night I will be hanging out with friends at the Guinness Believers party, then off to a house party in Smyrna, and if I am still alive... "sexy dancing" at Loca Luna. It's never often enough that alcohol companies sponsor my good time. If they do this every night, I would be happy to wear logos on my clothes!

Unfortunately, the only girls I have met at the Guinness event were either engineers or relatives of executives at Diageo. So I found the above pic online. If you have something better, click here.