Sucking D*** For Gas?

If you got that email from "Jay Leno" that tries to argue that the country isn't going to hell in a handbasket, you have gotta read this.

A Maricopa County Sheriff’s Office spokesman says 43-year-old Kelli Still appeared at the home of an acquaintance near University Drive and Ellsworth Road. Deputies claim Still intended to barter oral sex for gas money. Instead, Still is accused of using a pair of scissors to stab Michael Hamilton several times.

Holy fucking shit. Back in the 1990s, we laughed about Bob Saget sucking dick for coke. Now it's some fortysomething giving brain to fill up the tank. Maybe things were better under Bill Clinton.

Hot French Teachers Are Lonely, Confused

I can't believe this woman can't find a date with anyone over the age of 21.



No one wubs me...

Janelle Batkins makes Mrs. Wormer look like Mother Theresa. Is it that hard to find a date in Roseville, MI? Seriously... this is insane. The best part is how big a dick the 17 year old kid is.

Under Griem’s questioning, the teen said he showed text messages from Batkins to his friends. He also said he had a girlfriend during his affair with Batkins, but didn’t say for how long.

“Telling your friends you were ‘doing’ Mrs. Batkins, that made you feel important and made you feel you were a real stud,” Griem accused.

“Not anymore than I already am,” the teen said.

Ok, kudos to you, you are banging the hot teacher. Let's not act like a complete jackass in court too. I feel almost sorry for Batkins kid, who caught them in the act. It's bad enough having a MILF for a mom, now everyone is going to call her a MIDF - a Mom I Did Fuck. Ouch.

Free At Last, Stay Away From White Girls

After a four year long nightmare that ruined a good kid's chances at a great life, the Georgia Supreme Court decided that Genarlow Wilson had enough and freed him today. The original crime - letting a girl blow him who turned out to be 15 and just happened to be on camera. Because for some reason, in 1995 the Georgia legislature decided that oral sex was the work of the devil and should be a felony even between kids of the same age (unlike sexual intercourse). Hmm, I wonder who inspired that law...

Worse, the august Georgia Legislature changed the law to make such acts only a misdeamenor, largely in response to the bruhaha over Wilson. Yet, for some reason they did not make the law retroactive even though they had the option to do so. Thanks to an over aggressive Attorney General, this kept Wilson in prison and the State Supreme Court upheld his conviction and sentence of 10 YEARS.

Finally, a Monroe County judge agreed that all this was bullshit - and that 12 months was long enought to stay in prison for getting head. The Attorney General stepped in again and appealed to the Supreme Court - who agreed that the sentence was completely ridiculous.

I know this is the Bible Belt, and I know more about the Bible Belt than anyone - but you don't see kids from Alpharetta High facing hard time for getting their dick wet. If she wasn't white, if it wasn't on videotape, it wouldn't be an issue. And that's the saddest thing of all. At least Wilson is free.

It's That Time Again

Let's see - it's Monday afternoon, and I am in Atlanta while my friends are living it up in Las Vegas. This is a good enough time as any for another Teacher Sex update!

This pearl of a lady (pictured above) is Titusville, FL teacher Ms. Janet Hughes. She stands accused of trying to get it on like high schoolers with a 16 year old high schooler. She stands charged with one count of sexual battery and another count of attempted sexual battery.

At first glance this story is par for the course, only the linked story above backhandedly mentioned this is the second time Ms. Hughes has been accused in a month. And there are other goodies as noted here.

• Hughes was caught by police who inadvertently passed by her van and saw the amorous pair in the nude on a blanket through the windows.
• The boogie-woogie fan was parked in a church parking lot.
• Hughes was teaching business electives at a Middle School; previously she was at a nearby high school.
• The police were unwilling or unable to explain why the 16 year old student in question was still attending said middle school.
• In spite of Ms. Hughes sorely inadequate skills of subtlety and covertness - prosecutors suspect she has been at this youngin' game a long time, even taking possible victims to Busch Gardens.

I don't know how hard it is to find love in these small towns - but surely there are other places than in a van with unobstructed windows sitting in a church parking lot.

Enlist Illegal Aliens + More Gun Control =

Invasion USA. Only by the time things go that far south, Chuck Norris might be dead. This article comments on the Army's DREAM plan, a part of the new Immigration bill currently under fire in the US Senate. DREAM stands for "Development, Relief and Education for Alien Minors." The name fits, if the dream is to end up like Imperial Rome offering citizenship for spilt blood.

Ten Years For This?

Georgia is fucked up for a lot of reasons... Attorney General Thubert Baker has shown another reason yesterday. Most sane people agree that getting brain from a 15 year old is not that big a deal when you are 17. Certainly, angry fathers should have some recourse besides a shotgun - but no one thinks 10 years is appropriate anymore. Of course, when the 17 year old boy, Genarlow Wilson, is black, and the fifteen year old girl is white - the tempature down here changes. Maybe that is why the General Assembly elected not to make its new law decriminalizing (rather the oral sex is now a misdeamenor vs. a felony) this act retroactive.

Thankfully, a Superior Court judge came to his senses and allowed Wilson to appeal and reduced his sentence to timed served, with no requirement to join the sex offenders list. Two years for a hummer is bad enough (he was acquited on the drunken sex with another girl), although Baker disagrees. Even though Baker is black, the racial issue still looms. Why try to keep this kid in jail? It was all consensual, and the legislature agreed that the law he was tried under was wrong.

I can't help but identify with him. I'm black, and I remember the cute girl who used to give handjobs in the stacks at the High School library back home. The difference is that my parents and my uncles would have murdered me if I ever got caught messing around with her. Hell, my mom would have been able to tell by looking if I had just a little too much fun at school that day. There was no "boys will be boys" attitude in my home.

Attorney General Baker, Wilson may have been wrong, but two years hard time is more than enough compensation for his indiscretions.

Am I Crazy, Or Does This Look Kinda Hot?

I could be nuts, I may fence too much, but I gotta admit - I think this is one of the hottest photos I have seen of Lindsay Lohan.

I really don't have anything to follow it up with, except that this weekend I let a girl bite my finger until the bone crunched. I am not sure what that says about her, or me.

Courtesy of WWTDD.

If 9-11 Doesn't Cause Terror, The Terrorists Have Won

Photo courtesy of the Onion. Read the hilarious article here.

ATL Bowling for $80/Hr, Still Sucks

I managed to avoid the initial fanfare, but Friday night I finally made it out to Ten Pin Alley in Atlantic Station. Atlantic Station is the newest incarnation of urban renewal in Atlanta, and is filled with high end shops, wine bars, and swanky clubs and trendy restaurants. It hardly seems a proper setting for a bowling alley, but this just isn't any bowling alley. Comparing a normal bowling alley to Ten Pin is like comparing a no account trailer trash whore to the late Anna Nicole Simpson. Sure they are essentially the same thing, but lots of cosmestics, money, fame, and hype is going to get people's attention.

First off, the place has a fucking bouncer. A large dude with a short mohawk, and I am pretty sure he might be able to kick my ass. After getting my ID checked at 8:30pm on Friday night, my cute blonde friend and I walked up the dark staircase and saw the main floor. Immediately to the right was a sunken lounge and a bar that served $12 cocktails, and to the right were 7 of the 10 lanes for the bowling alley. Of course only one guy was bowling... the other 10 folks were drinking and eating at on the admittedly gorgeous leather couches. The place brags about three levels, but each of the top two levels (complete with velvet ropes) are composed of two islands that each have a nice pool table and flat screen. Great when you want to play a friendly game and pay $200 for vodka bottle service. $300 more if you want champagne.

This is a place for folks who have money and don't care how they spend it. Expect lots of athletes and rappers, among guys who have no idea how to impress a girl. Apparently Scarlett Johanssen skipped Wilmer Valderrama's grand opening, recognizing the place for what it is... a overdone small bowling alley.

Sen. Biden Hates Dirty "N-words"

I am not sure what world Joe Biden lives in. My first guess is the late 19th century, when it was still ok to hate black people - but you couldn't beat them anymore without a posse to back you up. So in private or in front of non-bigots you had to be nice.

Of course, Biden's attempt at being nice when talking about Sen. Obama is that he a "bright and clean" (and articulate, but that is not new) African-American candidate. I can only guess that he contrasts Obama to those dull and dirty darkies like Jesse Jackson, Alan Keyes, and Al Sharpton. I mean really... if this is the kind of stuff that comes out of a politician's mouth in public - what is he saying in private?

Never mind that Jesse Jackson performed better in the 1987 Presidential primaries than Biden, and that black people can't stand to smell bad or be around people who do. Sen. Biden has the wrong idea if he thinks that people are going to appreciate him because he praises Barack Obama for being new and unique. Smart and articulate black people have been around for a long time, many on the national stage. You are only gonna impress backcountry rednecks and MTV idiots who think Tupac Shakur is the premier black poet in American Literature by saying that Obama is impressive for looking well and talkin' good.

Just to show this is not an isolated incident, check out the video above talking about Deleware's rich heritage and how Biden wants to leverage that in his race for the White House.

Successful politicians are masters of watching what they say. What slips out is ALWAYS the tip of the iceberg.