Interclass Dating

A while ago, I mentioned an article in this space talking about the growing acceptance of interracial dating. If television is any guide, the relationships you see on Fox's "24," the interracial petting you see on SpikeTV's "MANswers," and the black-asian relationship on that doctor show I am now sick of illustrates how far race relations in romance have come. Of course, I still stand by maxim, that the real race issues come out when one's daughter is involved.



The real difficulty, however, is in interclass relationships. The issue reminds me of a Thursday night last year at Laseter's - a dive bar just north of me here in Atlanta. I was out of work that summer and took advantage by starting Happy Hour at 4pm and finishing up right around 2am. It was one of those nights that I met a sultry white brunette who worked for the city. We were flirty right away; I was bored and horny, and she was drunk and loved my aftershave. Our conversation turned from me getting her out of the bar to her work with the downtrodden and how the capitalists are screwing everybody. She probably assumed since I spoke in complete sentences (the best way to exude intelligence) that I actually was interested - and she went on and on about there not being enough social services. I tried to make a cogent argument against her reasoning, and she countered that I wouldn't understand because I am part of the "upper echelon" - whatever that is. She even revealed she makes about $32K a year with few benefits. She was also unimpressed with my rejoinder that I was currently making absolutely nothing.

So here I am in a bar, with a woman who makes less money than I did when I first left school - and I am using the fact that I am unemployed as a selling point? Maybe this interclass thing really isn't a good idea.

No Guy Wants to Be A Good Catch

A funny thing happened on my long death march through my mid-twenties. After the wild years of fraternity life, mostly as an alumnus; picking up girls from Indiana to Iceland; breaking up with women for as frivolous a reason as I didn't like how they walked (pre-coitus anyway); going on ten day benders; some how, in spite of all the shit I pulled, I became a "good catch."

No single guy wants to hear something like that from anyone besides his mother. This term signals two important non mutually exclusive things: a) this guy is too "good" for meaningless yet incredibly fun random hookups, and/or b) this guy is a great long term provider and must be isolated and made miserable. Unless you are in a culture that promotes arranged marriages - an indictment of "good catch" means a very frustrating social life.

Honestly, the label does no good at all. No one wants to be the guy she didn't feel comfortable using him like a rag doll until she felt worthy of him. Everyone young guy wants to be the dude a girl will fuck but is too ashamed to talk about with her parents.

In this post-feminist world we live in, parents and families at large don't have much say in who a woman chooses to date, marry, or "fuck and chuck." Without that objective, nuisanced, and wise counsel - many women are destined to make horrible mistakes in romance, and what man doesn't want to be that "mistake?" Good god, O.J. fucking Simpson is still getting strange! (hat tip to Deadspin.)


I get around! Round and Round! Round and Round!

Maybe some killers are great in the sack, who knows. Hell, one of my friends from work saw a bunch of girls in the club hitting on none other than Magic Johnson! I'm still trying to wrap my head around this one - if you are saavy enough to know who he is, how could you not know he has fucking AIDS. Yes, the uncurable and debilitating disease that everyone in the world should know he has. These guys aren't good catches, yet given the circumstances, they are doing amazingly well.

Why even bother with being a "good catch?" Besides alleged killers (who all but admit to the crime in a book) and longtime AIDS victims, here is a short list of "bad catches" who get all kinds of ass.

• Drug dealers - Chicks like the flash
• Drug users - Chicks are cheap
• Alleged rapists - Chicks like experience
• Deadbeat dads - Chicks like drama
• Drunken assholes - Chicks like fun (maybe ending the bender was a bad idea)

With over half of all first time marriages ending in divource, there isn't a lot of hope for guys who want to settle down while they are young, eager, and stupid. If a guy wants to get married in his thirties, being labeled a "good catch" only assures a long, and boring wait.

Ron Paul Is Right.... Again

Rudy Giuliani tried to make Ron Paul sound insane last night by suggesting that 9/11 was a pre-meditated attack against the innocent United States. Unfortunately for everyone, Paul is right. People seem to forget the axiom - "terrorism is a poor man's war, and war is a rich man's terrorism." With our constant bombings of Iraq in the 90's during the Clinton administration, our near absolute support and favoritism towards Israel, and the propping up of weak, yet brutal monarchies in the Middle East, we have many enemies. Also there is the Ledeen doctrine, "every ten years America needs to beat up some crappy little country to show we mean business." America didn't deserve 9/11, but it would take a lot of ignorance and chutzpah to say we weren't asking for it. We can't keep kicking up shit in every flea-bourn corner of the world and not expect to track any home.

The worst of it is that not only that the war in Iraq is not helping, our efforts to frustrate Iran has led us to support radical Sunni Muslims, and the real crazies like the Muslim Brotherhood - who are actually in league with Osama Bin Laden himself.

So not only did we help inspire the 19 to attack us on 9/11, we are supporting their friends so they can help us against Iran. Oh, this makes so much sense.

Jerry Falwell Dead - RIP

Jerry Falwell, televanglist, founder of the Moral Majority and Liberty University died today. While we never saw eye to eye, his rhetoric helped inspire my intial foray into conservative politics in High School and at my alma mater, Washington University. You may not be happy with his legacy, but you cannot ignore his impact. That alone is worth a mention here.

Requiscat in Pace.

Kim Kardashian: Mom Must Be So Proud

One happy screwed-up family

There is a not lot going on today, and given the choice between discussing Newt Gingrich's para-run for the White House and Kim Kardashian's latest attempt to kill by STD, the choice was easy.

Mom must be feeling great right after Mother's Day. The sex tape was one thing, and now she gets to hear that her daughter gets set up with boys by Matt Leinart and Paris Hilton. Given the reason for her late husband Robert's fame, I can only imagine the conversation over New Orlean's RB Reggie Bush.

Kim: He is so fucking sexy, and rich. More people notice me when I am with him!
Mom: Does he have a temper honey? Does he wear Bruno Maglis?
Kim: Why the fuck would you ask that? I mean, he hate fucks me if he sees me grabbing another guy's ass - but that's feels AWESOME!
Mom: Well, he doesn't get really jealous, does he? Robert would turn in his grave if he thought you would get in the same mess as Nicole.
Kim: What the hell are you talking about? Reggie is not fucking OJ Simpson! He loves me!
Mom: Come on Kim... you don't exactly come off as the pinnacle of fidelity. And I am not spotting you for your Valtrex refill if you keep this up!
Kim: Penna of what? Did you call me a fucking penis? Fuck you mom, I don't need your charity. My dealer said to just pour coke on the sores, it will do the same thing.
Mom: Yes, thank you for your Mother's Day gift. One less daughter.

I'm not saying Reggie Bush will marry Kim Kardashian and then kill her... but I'd understand.

Ban Antidepressants, Not Guns

Alexander Coburn has a wonderful piece in CounterPunch this week that has two excellent recommendations - a) bring back the posse, and b) if you have to ban something, ban antidepressants like Zoloft and Prozac. The article even has a list of 10 individuals who flipped out while on antidepressants and committed murder in cold blood. It's high time we get these kids off these weirdo drugs, and get them into sports, or music or something less likely to make you want to shoot people.

Speaking of shooting people, here is why the posse makes sense. Chances are, a civilian posse is more inclined to come to the rescue of innocents under assault than the police. Stories abound describing SWAT teams and police officers hiding behind squad cars until the murder has done his deed. In St. Louis, there was contraversy over police officers who continued to issue tickets while dispatchers tried to direct them to answer emergency calls. Plus, there are no legal sanctions for a policeman who fails to save your life. Contrast that with your neighbor... if he has a gun, and he hears trouble, chances are he is going to come see what's up - even if just out of curiosity.

Gun-Free Zone = Killing Field

Sometimes the hero doesn't die in these tragic stories. Classically Liberal has a great post about recent school shootings where armed students and teachers stopped the slaughter, well before the police even begin to arrive.

Let the police enforce traffic laws and solve crimes. Let the citizens protect themselves. I guarantee both sides will be much happier.

VA Tech - Not In The Playbook, No Manual

If you were to ask yourself last week what place in the US is most likely to experience the worst massacre in American history, what place would you pick? Certainly not a government building these days. Not an airplane anymore. Possibly a church, but only in the North. Most likely you would pick a school. Gov. Kaine places zero blame with the VA Tech administration, saying "nobody has this in the playbook. There is no manual on this." And of course there isn't. Legislation has drawn a strong boundary around schools across the country, forbidding weapons of any kind on campus. Hell, there have been stories of kids having trouble getting fencing equipment (often just called "weapons") on some campuses. And of course, many college campuses are bastions of ultra-liberal thought - the guys who rail against gun owners and ownership in the United States.

In the Art of War, Sun-Tzu said to always attack hardest where your enemy's defenses are weak. Cho Seung-Hui considered the women who despised him and the rich kids who ignored him as the enemy. And there is no greater undefended concentration of them than on a college campus... any college campus.

Next time a teacher, a professor, or a pilot suggests he be allowed to carry a sidearm - let's not dismiss him out of hand this time.

Lacrosse Players Innocent, America Still Hates Duke

Full exoneration and proclamation of innocence is a special thing coming from North Carolina's Attorney General. Now there is no question, no lingering doubt, no "maybe this rich fucks did buy their freedom." I pretty much predicted this outcome, figuring the dropping of the forcible rape charge was the tumbling of the first domino.

Although I am black, and I root against Duke - having been briefly falsely accused of sexual assault back in college I could only see things from the lacrosse players perspective. I still remember the sudden shock after hearing the accusation. Then the mind goes blank as you are drilled for an explanation. Then the horror you experience when you realize your protests of innocence are falling on deaf ears. Later comes the fear when you swear on your honor, on your mother, on your God that these accusations are lies - only those closest to you believe you, and even they hestitate. That is experience is just punishment if you are guilty, but horrible torture if you are innocent. Neither the Duke players nor I deserved it.

These days the accusations of rape, sexual assault, or even stalking tar a person for years, if not for life. In simpler times such accusations was an insult to reputation and honor that could only be remedied by a duel. These days, unless the woman immediately recants, there is no salvation for reputation.

Election Update: VOTE At Coletrain.org!!

Vote, or I'll forget my Valtrex on Saturday...

Thanks to PajamaMedia and the greatness that is me... Coletrain.org is now an official online presidential polling precinct! Just head over to the main page and vote. Vote early and vote often. Your vote counts, even if you are dead. Just remember, the eyes of the world are on the results, so make your vote count. Also, a vote for You-know-who is a vote for You-know-where.

I love pastries AND cartoons!


Happy Easter weekend everybody!

Erin McLean, A Girl To Die For?

What a happy family.

Most of my friends know I am partial to redheads... and blondes... and especially girls whose hair is naturally orange like Vitamin C's... but I digress. The point is that Erin McLean isn't worth going to jail for, much less taking a couple rounds of buckshot to the face.

Seriously, this woman nearly beats her kid for mentioning to Dad that a strange man was holding Mommy's hand when the three of them went to the park. I love both my parents, but I am not sure even I am that loyal. Click the link to see a pic of the dead kid - although he looks like a vanilla redneck kid to me. Maybe I really don't understand women. I get it when women fall for guys like Tom Brady or Shamar Moore, and I can see that even Chris "You're with me, Leather" Berman looks like Tony Soprano. But a skinny fuck like Sean Powell? I'm lost.

I have been following this trend for over a year now, and I still don't get this one. I get the single women who are lonely, the nerdy women who never was good enough for the cool kids until they hit MILF status, the youngish twentysomethings who still get damp over the cut up high school varsity athletes, the women so stuck in a rut they just want to do something nasty, and the women who are so neglected by their husbands that the easy praise from male jailbait starts to be irresistable. But this one - a woman with a career with a future, a supportive, attentive, and apparently passionate husband, an obviously intelligent and sensitive kid - and she still throws it all away from some 19 year old white trash with no prospects? Are people born this stupid or do they have to practice?

It's All Fun And Games Until You Get Shot In The Face

Hubby won't care, will he?

John Gibson over at Fox News thinks I should stop giggling because now one of these "victims" of hot teacher sex got killed. Well, I will do my best, but I am not promising anything.

Honestly, I can't blame Eric McLean for shooting a high school boy who was coming to his house to fuck his wife Erin (above). If I was on a jury, I would only convict him of not laying the smacketh down soon enough. A swift kick in the nuts six months earlier may have kept him out of the papers.

Good lord, even in the pornos the hubby is out of town, or asleep... This kid, Nick Powell, has the nerve to cuckold this guy while he is at home and awake? If you are a man and a high schooler comes to your house to take your wife out for Big Macs and creampies - what would you do if you had a shotgun handy?

I am not saying Eric McLean did the right thing - but in this "love" triangle, he is the only relatively innocent party.

In other news, not only does Erin McLean suck dick, she also sucks at suicide. Do something right for once Erin, here are some tips.

Downward Spiral - TeacherSex On Film

Teachers banging students is part of the death nell of proper society, according to R.J. Stove at Taki's Top Drawer. Stove's review of Notes on a Scandal is a poignant look at Blairite Britain through its reflection on the silver screen.

While I tend to poke fun at the women involved in these scandals, in all seriousness it does represent a serious breakdown in society. Such actions undermine confidence in the educational system and authority at large. While there is an obvious silver lining for guys like me who are both libertarians and horny bastards - having children growing up without respect for authority and boundaries means extra money for me to spend on home security and a gun for my future wife.

Notes has been out for a while, but is still playing in smaller theatres. For a drama that is less dystopian than real, it seems like a sound bet.

Rejected Sorority Girl Hates Pretty Women, Blacks

Rejected sister Rachel Pappas of DePauw University calls image discrimination "the new racism," according to the Associated Press. A former member of "the dog house," she was informed by Delta Zeta national that she was insufficiently committed to membership recruitment and would not be asked to help save DePauw's 98 year old DZ chapter.

The New York Times and DePauw university have been running over DZ national over the last few weeks - and for what? The chapter is still dead, and the girls are still ugly.

As a fraternity alumnus, I have seen fraternities and sororities rise and fall. Fraternities have some advantage in that they can survive at below average numbers because there is generally less structure in their recruitment. Rush for guys is basically a series of events where rushees and brothers get together - get to know each other, and decide if they like each other. Sorority rush is much more regimented, and governed by a PanHellenic Association that matches girls to houses where they might fit in - and the reputation of the house is a much bigger deal. These are very general descriptions, by the way.

So if you are in a sorority house with 35 members while the average house size is 100, you are seen as introverted, and the kids on campus call you "the dog house," recruitment is going to suck. And according to Delta Zeta's March 12 press release - the chapter wanted to fold back in December. Which was fine, except DePauw University refused to grant Delta Zeta a guaranteed right of return. In fairness, such a guaranteed right is hard to come by - although I never saw one not granted to a fraternity.

On the advice of the university, Delta Zeta national came to campus to conduct a membership review to see who was committed to rebuilding the chapter. And here is where the problems arrive. One fact is perfectly clear however - because of the December vote, DZ national knows at least a majority (if not a supermajority) is not interested in recruitment or building the chapter. And as these sorts of membership reviews go, most of the chapter is out the door anyway. After all, if most of the chapter was ok, then they would have the numbers to clean their own house. However, the NYTimes and DePauw administrators only picked up on the fact that most of the girls released were unattractive.

Having met and being friends with fraternity and sorority professionals - I am willing to give Delta Zeta national the benefit of the doubt. But even if the NYTimes came to the right conclusion, I would give DZ a pass - especially on the racism charge. Given that there was only one black girl and two asians in the chapter (one asian was allowed to stay), you can't tell me that DZNational whitewashing the group. Three girls out of 35 does not a melting pot make... more like a donut hole. And to be perfectly honest, a sorority popularly known as the "dog house" on campus is not going to be able to recruit. Especially, according to the NYTimes, their idea of parties is 8-10 hanging out in a hallway after dark.

Again, here are the facts.

1. DePauw's Delta Zeta undergraduate chapter voted to shut down - hence ending any recruitment effort.
2. DePauw University refused to grant Delta Zeta a guaranteed right of return to campus after a closure. Instead, they recommended a membership review, followed by more recruitment.
3. DePauw students referred to Delta Zeta as the "dog house," and Delta Zeta undergrads admit to NYTimes they can't party.
4. Delta Zeta National has bills to pay.

If you were Delta Zeta National, would you do anything differently? Honestly, what girl is going to join a sorority filled with "Ugly Bettys?"

Ripping Up My Diploma - More Teacher Sex

When the teachers start to look like this, I am re-enrolling.

As I wait to head out to my free Glenlivet tasting, I figure I may as well report on our moral superiors in the Northeast. Marcia Amsterdam, a good looking thirtysomething teacher, is accused of raping a 13 year old boy in Brooklyn. (By the way, a girl can only rape a boy through sodomy... vaginal sex doesn't cut it in my book. I wish the newspapers would be more clear. )While it is obvious she could have found someone her age, I just keep wondering aloud why these women only bang kids from their own schools. At least grab some horny teenager from the prep school across the way... at least the kids there can afford to pick up dinner! Click here to get a cool slideshow of 15 or so female teachers in hot water so far.

The best is from WorldNetDaily. Not only have they been keeping track of these episodes as well - the editors use the epidemic as a clarion call for homeschooling!

It's funny how people want to give the state and teachers more control over the children these days. Well, I suppose if you are railing teachers after school, you aren't gonna end up obese.

I love that now when I put "emma starr teacher" into Google Image Search, my picture pops up.

EDIT: I've updated my TeacherSex tab - so all the sexademic goodness is available to you in one page!

It's Been Too Long - More Teacher Sex

No Billy, you don't have to be smart to get in my panties...


I have been incognegro for the last few days - stomach flu, hungover, passed out... now I am back in the saddle.

Here are your sexy Teacher sex updates - pics where available.

Emily Willis was caught spending a late Friday night/early Saturday morning with a 14 year old at her middle school. I know that backseat car sex brings back memories, but $50 bucks at the Motel 6 would have kept you out of jail.

Kelly Cuperus pleaded guilty to sexual exploitation this week. While not carrying the penalities for the charges of sexual abuse, she will still have to register as a sex offender. She is not that much of a looker, so I almost understand. After all, outside sex and drinking, there ain't shit to do in Iowa.

I know a lot of guys in NYC, and while they may not go to the Bronx just to bang this blonde - they might reconsider if they knew that her only alternative is a threatening passenger on the short bus. Seriously, Emily Streb is no supermodel, but you'd think she would try the local bar or Craiglist before she fucks a retarded kid.

This one just hurts... Allena Williams is almost in commuting distance from Atlanta. I can almost understand wanting to hook up with the 17 year old junior or senior quarterback... hell he will pull 21-22 year olds in college anyway, but 14 or 15? What's the deal?

Here is another messed up SpecialEd teacher, Jodi Church. While Peoria, IL has all the excitement of Iowa - why she needs to make it with a retarded kid makes no sense. BTW, authorities have not confirmed if the kid was Church's student - but I feel the authorities would have released that info if it is not the case.

Man, retarded kids got it made. They are almost wards of the state, nothing is expected out of them - and they still get laid.

Sexytime Relationship Management(SRM) - Hot and Cold

Last Friday I planned to have a busy night. I scheduled a happy hour at Fox and Hounds near my place at 6pm, and then planned to take out a cute blonde for a night of salsa dancing and drinks at 8:30pm. The blonde was meant to be working late on Friday so I didn't invite her to the happy hour. That worked out because we only met recently, and I invited another girl (Blonde #2) I had a passing interest instead.

Of course, these things rarely work out as planned. Blonde #2 arrived a bit late, and with a few friends in tow. Great conversation, good food, and good friends all around assured that it would be a fun night. Then I got a text message from Blonde #1 that she was arriving at my place a full 90 minutes ahead of schedule. Well, this could get awkward. I excused myself and left briefly to drive the three minutes to my condo to pick up my date for the night. When I found her, she was attired in a pretty satin dress and was looking very impressive. I gave her a kiss on the cheek, lightly joked about her early arrival - and informed her we would be at a bar for an hour or so. She wasn't happy about being overdressed, but she was fine with it.

Arriving back at Fox and Hounds, I made an effort to introduce Blonde #1 to most of the group, while Blonde #2 was engaged with my friends and her own. I lavished attention on Blonde #1, and when appropriate, I visited Blonde #2 and lavished attention on her - and make sure to kiss her cheek before I left with Blonde #1.

As the night went on (as dancing turned into drunken writhing), I wondered how I could have better handled that situation. Blonde #2 was always a bit unreliable, so I didn't worry too much about upsetting her. Yet, had I had more of an advanced relationship with B2 - I would have been in trouble.

I typically can handle these sorts of situations on my own, but this time I needed help from Taki. Just recently he posted an article that seemed to be spot on.

But not everybody who uses chat-up lines is a playboy, otherwise you’d have 50 million Italian playboys and ten million Greek ones. Show me an Italian or a Greek man who doesn’t flirt and I’ll show you a pervert. Flirting has never ruined a marriage or driven a wife to drink. Coldness does that. Men who flirt usually service their wives regularly, and everyone else they can get hold of. (italics mine)

The coldness piece caught my attention. I find it is easy to flirt with a whole group of women, as long as I am careful not to neglect any of them. I also realized that most women (and men for that matter) tend to realize their partner is cheating once he starts becoming cold towards her. It also explains how Magic Johnson can get HIV from sleeping around, yet his wife still goes through the effort of condoms and frequent check-ups just so she can have sex with her adulterous husband. The now insane Britney Spears didn't dump K-Fed because he knocked her up and spent her money (and most likely cheated on her) ... he became cold to her. Even in my experience, I dated a girl in Indiana who didn't mind if I slept with other women because she knew how much I hungered for her. And she wouldn't even allow herself the same freedom.

So according to Taki, the only thing I could have done better is to make sure that both women knew I deeply desired them, and to even suggest marriage... although I won't go that far.

The article goes on to give even more tips on how to be a better playboy, chief of which is to be generous. Unfortunately, playboys don't have the cultural impact they had in the past - after all, one must be rich to be a playboy. It is much cheaper to be a player/playa... and being a pimp don't cost nuthin'.

That Chick Astronaut Didn't Have a Chance

It's not often you can say that about an astronaut. Most men who make it to that level have very high level military aviation careers - and have been kicking ass for at least 15 years. The women are no slouches too... We all know what Astronaut Nowak looks like, but get a load of the competition.


I bang astronauts. Boo-yah!

Seriously. She is no Scarlett Johanssen, but I guarandamntee Capt. Colleen "Fly ME High" Shipman is the star of every Officer's Club Happy Hour. I don't even know why Nowak even bothered... it's not like her life wasn't fulfilling already.

Eugenics, Dysgenics, and Body Shots

Hey baby, let me ride...

Sometimes I think were it not for my Christian upbringing, I would have evolved into some Genghis Khan type character. You know... the strong, silent type. Of course, when you are riding at the front of an angry and horny Mongol horde, and the object of your temporary affection is watching her husband and sons run for their lives - there really isn't any need to say much. This is pretty much how Genghis Khan got his women - he is famous for saying the best thing in life is to "vanquish your enemies, to chase them before you, to rob them of their wealth, to see those dear to them bathed in tears, to clasp to your bosom their wives and daughters.” Talk about a little less conversation and a lot more action! Thanks to that attitude, one out of every four men in Asia is a direct descendant of The Great Khan, and they may be all better for it. After all, the man who conquered a good bit of the known world, introduced diplomatic immunity to the world, and establised international trade practices still in use today couldn't afford to be dumb.

Making the world smarter (with my penis), one girl at a time!


Unfortunately, guys like Bill Gates, Sam Walton, or even Sir Richard Branson - corporate emperors all - didn't ravish the countryside raping every woman in sight and having hundreds of kids during the nineties. If you look at the declining birthrate in industrial nations vs. the birth rate in the Third World - you might see this as a problem. The non-ravishing that is.

All this actually came up last night, a Tuesday night, at a tequila bar in Atlanta. I was speaking with a girl from Michigan who has become a bit of a dysgenicist after 25 years in the Greater Detroit area. 8MileGirl subscribes to the idea that the Roman Empire fell because the smart and monied folks couldn't breed enough or outbreed the idiots/poor in the realm due to lead poisoning and other reasons. The lead issue has been thrown around awhile, but factors like decadence and dependence on foreign sources for soldiers and other infrastructure were the man reasons I learned the Empire fell. Nati was a classics major, so he would have a more definitive answer.

Yes, if I was in charge...

Of course all this is boring compared to (well, anything, but also) 8MileGirl's solution to the problem - sterilize the idiots. Rather than run into Nazi comparisons by making it compulsory, you offer long lasting yet temporary birth control paid for by the state (or Planned Parenthood) for free. And you would give $100 to the girls as a thank you. Since you would get murdered in the press if you went around offering birth control to only degenerates and crackwhores - you would have to make it available to everyone, including college girls who in all honesty would probably benefit society more (comparatively, of course) by getting pregnant.

All this hinges on the idea that intelligence, and the will to wield it, is hereditary. One need only turn on a TV set to know that isn't true. Conrad Hilton, a smart and industrious member of my fraternity built a hotel empire. His great-granddaughter is a racist idiot. Former President George H.W. Bush was a fighter pilot in World War II, a director of the CIA, and laid the smackdown on Saddam and Iraq with no significant loss of American life. President George W. Bush... well you get my drift. We all hope our children will be smarter than us - but even in the best of families in the best of environments - intelligence is a role of the die. You can only hope for your kids to be at least above a dropping average, and train them to make the most of it.

Even though the whole dysgenics thing is kinda dumb, one thing is for certain... If you aren't growing (as a population), you are dying. The main reason why we eat more agricultural products instead of hunted products is because farming produces more food and leaves more time for pumping out kids. Forget intelligence, raw numbers alone are alarming enough.

So while this discussion took place and I was rubbing 8MileGirl's leg, our waitress was letting her co-workers take body shots off her very slim stomach - and another girl was stripping and flashing for her friends. In a normal bar/restaurant, on a Tuesday night in ATL. And apparently every Tues night is like this. I am definitely going back. This little vignette has nothing to do with the rest of the post except for this one point... the waitress has a little girl.

Sales Guys Are Dangerous

Prospecting meeting


Most of my friends are pretty level-headed. I never attracted bad apples to my inner circle - naughty apples certainly, nasty bananas to be sure, and drunking sluts - but never actual bad apples. The closest quasi bad apple was this male nurse from Fiji who used to bang married female nurses two at a time and actually picked up a waitress at Hooter's (no foolin', I was there). Apparently, the key is to avoid hitting on the servers, and go straight for the older bartender at the front. Sure she might be a little older than the 20 year olds on the floor, but they are very attention starved.

So whenever I go out and hit on or hook up with random girls, my level headed friends give me the spiel about getting an STD, or getting a girl pregnant, or catching women in a net. Miss Daisy and MadAngler are certainly part of that chorus. The exception is the sales guys. Sales guys are some of the most sex obsessed people I know. From the hot thirtysomething blonde who felt me up on a plane in college, to my first corporate boss who always asked me if I got laid that particular weekend (and claimed he could tell by looking), to the guys I hung out with last week wanting to know my threesome experiences (hilarious, that's all I am saying) - these guys are like jackrabbits.

Last Saturday at the resort bar (at the FL conference, see below), I am getting drunk and an older sales guy points out an attractive, but drunk blonde in a little black dress. He wants me to go after her, yet I want to continue to have a job. I refuse, and he asks why? I am still single, but I told him I really don't want my business out in the street. He retorts that any success I have can only help my cause. So, in that spirit, I walk over and chat her up. She is really drunk, and was ready to leave - but I talk her into hanging out a bit as she leans on me smiling. Of course a large man looks over my way and she goes, "My husband is going to be so pissed off..." Lovely.

I wander back and give a little report in traditional weekend business speak, "The drunk bitch was married." And yet at least four guys and one girl made a point to compliment me on my attempt. I always thought that this kind of stuff was reserved for wild clubs and bars, and the college life that I am still trying to leave behind. But this example, and others that my older sales friends related to me show that in sales it is all about prospecting, getting the meeting, and closing the deal. Apparently this philosophy works in business and the social life.

Surprisingly, I don't know any single/divourced sales guys over 40. Maybe there is hope for me yet.

Fly Airtran? Beat Your Kids. Please.

There are only two ways to fly domestically: first class or Southwest. First class travel has obvious benefits, but Southwest gives you the ability to choose your seat once on the plane (and choose your neighbors) which is just as valuable. In coach you have to suffer with obnoxious neighbors and whining kids.

At least Airtran took care of that problem. The Kuleszas are your typical white American family. They are most assurably liberal Democrats, and have no concept of how to train young children. They will be lucky if their little daughter Elly keeps her future teenage whoredoms off The Jerry Springer Show. How do I know all this? Because of this key quote.

"The flight was already delayed 15 minutes and in fairness to the other 112 passengers on the plane, the crew made an operational decision to remove the family," Graham-Weaver said.

But Julie Kulesza said: "We weren't giving an opportunity to hold her, console her or anything."

Julie, what kind of parent are you? How weak of an adult can you be if you can't control and seatbelt a three-year old in 15 minutes? With my mother it would have only taken about two seconds - long enough for her to lock eyes with me. A look that says, "You had better sit down, before you won't be able to..." Or when ever I babysitted - the simple and direct, "Damnit - sit down and shut the hell up!" Kids aren't used to profanity so they are shocked into compliance.

And please Gerry "Father of the Year" Kulesza, please keep your word and don't fly AirTran again. I will probably use them to book my flight to Philly.

Let this be a lesson for the rest of you... beat your kids. Please.

Happy Martin Luther King Day

Happy Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. Day.


I hope you are reading this from home, rather than from some bs place that doesn't celebrate Dr. King's birthday. I should be at home, celebrating by sleeping off a hangover from a Sunday night party.

Instead, I started my work day with a discussion with the HR administrator about Baby Boy, the drama starring R&B singer Tyrese Gibson, my man Ving Rhames, and Big Snoop Dogg. Tyrese plays the main character Jody (originally written for 2Pac), a deadbeat living in Inglewood, CA who has a bad habit of cheating on his girlfriend/babymama Yvette and refuses to move out of his mother's house. After being confronted by Yvette's ex-boyfriend, Snoop Dogg's Rodney, Jody realizes that he needs to grow up and be a main - or get consumed by the consequences of his actions. Here is a juicy bit of dialogue.

Jody: What? This my phone, nigga! Don't call my house no more!
Rodney: How the *fuck* is that yo' house, nigga? You don't even live there. Is this Jody? The Jody that got my boo pregnant and can't take care of his responsibilities as a muthafuckin' man? Livin' at yo' mamma house? Walking around the streets like a little ass boy? Nigga, you's a *bitch*!
Jody: What? Yo' ass in jail! You can't say nothin' about me and mine, homeboy. Look, don't call my *fuckin'* house no more! My girl ain't feeling you. It's not happening, cuz! Concentrate on not dropping the soap, you bitch-ass nigga!
Rodney: *Fuck* you, cuz!

The big problem I have with this movie is that Jody "becomes a man" by basically being a more faithful deadbeat. He agrees to move into his girlfriend's apartment, fix her car (before driving it around to socialize), buy her a ring, and get her pregnant again. Certainly this was an improvement over living with his mother and banging every hoodrat who looked at him, but if this is the epitome of manhood - I am working too hard. In actually, the epitome of manhood in Baby Boy is Ving Rhames' Melvin, a doctoral graduate from the school of hard knocks who is one beatdown away from being a three-time loser.

My co-worker and I agreed that many black men are suffering from low expectations - they don't expect to do much in life, and people rarely ask more of them. One of the sadly unique things about my upbringing was that my parents forced me to accept that I could do anything I put my mind to - and damn anyone else who disagreed. It's just as true for anyone else as it is for me.

In other news, Michael Strahan got a huge MLK gift from a NYC judge. While the fact that his ex-wife is white puts just the right tinge of political incorrectness that you expect from The Tales... well, actually that is the only reason I am mentioning this story. I feel for Strahan, even through he did cheat on her relentlessly. Nevertheless, he should have remembered what will soon become an "old" adage - college players get the free pussy because of all the coeds, professional players will always pay.

Have a great MLK day!