Layman's Guide To American Fencing Ratings

Since some of you have congratulated me on my win, but really don't know what the hell I am talking about - here is a general guide to how fencing ratings work in the US.

First there are four general types of non-age discriminatory events - Division I/IA, Division II, Division III, and Opens. Division I/IA events offer the toughest and most competitive fencing in the US. To fence in these events you must be ranked C, B, or A (or have national or international points - meaning you are damned good). Division II is a lot easier given that entries are restricted to fencers who are rated C, D, E, or are just Unrated (U). Given that there are some very good Cs and Us who may only fence extremely tough events, Div IIs are by no means easy or cakewalks. You just don't have to worry about an American Olympian coming to beat you up. Division III events are also known as D and Unders. Cs aren't allowed, but if they are a certain size, the winner of such an event can earn a C, so the competition can be quite fierce further down the bracket. Lastly there are Opens where anyone can play (as long as they are 13 and older).

Now that we know the levels of competion, the ratings will make much sense. Ratings consist of a letter and a year. The newer the rating, the better seeding you get in a competition.

U - Can either be a straight beginner, someone who never picked up particular weapon before, someone who has only entered very tough Opens, or maybe they suck. Watch out for folks who are U in one weapon, but highly rated in another. I am a B07 in epee, but still U in foil and sabre. Doesn't mean I can't whip you in all three.

E - Means you have won a small Div III event, or did pretty well in a larger Div II or Open.

D - This is the first rating where you have a responsiblity and a reputation. As tournaments get tougher and it becomes possible to earn ratings - certain folks starting with the Ds have to make it past the Top 8 in order to give out ratings. If you start sucking after you get your D or better, a lot of folks (including up and coming fencers and event organizers) are going to hate you.

C - This rating is the sweet spot. It is the lowest rating you can have and still be eligible for Div I, but you can still beat up on Us in the Div IIs. It is also the hardest rating to get because of the stiff competition in a Div III. Chances are, by the time you are good enough to earn this rating, you might actually get a....

B - This is the no man's land rating. Div IIs are barred for you, and there isn't a lot of opportunity for total domination at this level. However, seeding is finally on your side in the Opens. This is where I am. Once you start dominating than you get an...

A - This is the top of the rating scale in the US. At the national and international level, points become more important and ratings really don't mean much. Although you can dominate at local and regional tournaments and often times tournament organizers will let you fence for free just to beef up the level of competition. Not a bad gig.

I hope all this makes some sense.

Halloween 2007 - Good News and Bad News

This Halloween was a bit different for me vs. the last five years. But there are ups and downs to any change in life.

The Bad News: I was pretty sober the whole weekend.

The Good News: I fenced an Olympic medalist in Birmingham... and won!

The Bad News: No wild sexy debauchery like my days gone by in Madison.

The Good News: I finished 3rd in Open Epee at the Tiger Open at Clemson University. This is my highest finish ever in an open event. And I earned my B07!

Given that I now in a city with a 7-1 female to male ratio, I think this is a nice trade off for one weekend.

Happy Halloweeen!

Life's Little Metaphors

This past weekend I helped referree a tournament for the Georgia High School Fencing League. Mostly this involved wearing a jacket and tie in a hot and humid gym, and looking mean and cross as I directed bouts. That was pretty easy because I was wearing a jacket and tie in a hot and humid gym. During the DEs one thing I noticed that pained me was how a lot of the kids seemed to give up in the third period when they were only down a few touches. It's one thing to get murdered, or to try something and fail. It is quite another to give up hope. I firmly believe if you give up hope in sports, you will give up hope in real life. Even if you know you can't win, you play for pride - just so your psyche remembers to hold on when it really counts.

It reminds me of my first official date in Indianapolis, back in 2001. She was a pretty petite blonde, who was introduced to me by her identical twin sister. I was excited about our date, but I also didn't want to screw up the golden opportunity to tell the story of the genesis of our relationship six years later. The plan was for her to meet me at my place, and I would drive us downtown to Palamino's in the Indy Circle Center.

Things got hairy when I was looking for street parking for about five minutes, and Ginger got tired of waiting. Just at that moment, I saw a space right across the street from the restaurant. I eased in front of the space, and as I prepared to back up to execute the perfect parallel park - Jerry Seinfeld started directing. Yes, a late model yellow Corvette pulls halfway into the space, just stopping where I am halfway in. Sonofabitch.

I make motions telling him to move on, and he flips me off. Personally, I was ready to just give in - I was hungry too - but then I heard Ginger speak. "You aren't seriously gonna let this guy have this space, ARE YOU?" You see, this is why women are responsible for all the violence in the world. If one of my guy friends said that, I might brush him off. But on a first date with a hot girl who wants a manly man, there is no way I am giving in to some douchebag in a penis car. So I start honking, a lot. Then I flip him the bird - with both hands. And for good measure, I back into the space at speed, at the same time. He is driving a brand new sports car, I am driving a company car that I was gonna wreck sometime anyway. Guess who got the space?

She smiled lovingly and tossled her hair when I executed the best parallel parking job of my life. Honestly, the rest of the date was wrought with bullshit (racist waitress who kept giving her wine in a soiled glass, neighbors who ambushed Ginger when she got back to my place - eliminating any chance of a "nightcap") - but I doubt I would have dated her for a year if I gave into that yellow Corvette.

Sometimes you gotta know when to fold them; but if it is time to hold 'em, you fight to the very end.

Nine Days in Miami

Miami is hot as the fire of Hades in July. This is coming from someone who lives in HOTlanta. Whereas I have been able to enjoy life in a dark suit in ATL, I was sweltering wearing jeans and a polo at an outdoor bar on Ocean Drive at night. Plus nearly every day I was in town, there was a torrential storm in the afternoon, assuring that beach life was only viable in the morning and noontime, and every evening would be balmy. If you want to visit Miami, wait till November.




This water should be boiling.

Other than the weather, Miami was pretty cool. The food was very good, from the relatively cheap yet tasty gourmet pizzas at Pizza Rustica, to the moderately priced lunches at Cafe NeXXT, to the very well presented dinners at Oliver's on West Ave. Honestly, my favourite meal was the one I cooked myself. My very gracious host, Antagone (more on the name below), and I bought groceries during the week, and towards the end of my stay we decided to eat in. The chicken I bought was a little suspect after sitting open in the refridgerator for five days, and rather than throw it away, I figured I would take a page out of the cookbooks of our friends to the South and in South Asia. The theory is that enough spices and alcohol will kill any bacteria, so chicken three times doused in ground red pepper and marinated in vodka and coke it is. After that preparation I sauteed the meat in olive oil at a high temperature, and everything seemed to turn out ok. Of course, the food was so spicy, the sauce (before adding soy sauce) actually had the same consistency of pepper spray, and felt the same against my skin.

The nightlife wasn't bad either. One of my clubmates and I headed out to the Playwright Irish Pub, which is nowhere near as fun as it is during Spring Break. However their signature pour, Murphy's Stout, is a reasonable stand in for Guinness - and the clientele were very friendly and interesting. That same night we went to the Clevelander on Ocean Drive, which is an outdoor sports bar attached to a hotel, restaurant, pool, and some sort of concert stage.




The night we were there, there was a Young Republicans party. The YRs were easily identifiable by their tweed sports jackets and their dismissive demeanor. Of course, the one girl I actually have a great conversation with turns out to be in a bachelorette party composed of die-hard Democrats. The joke was that the bride would lose her bridal shower deposit on the Women's Democratic Center in DC once word got back she was partying with the GOP on South Beach.

It seems the main occupation of Miami partygoers is to literrally "see and be seen," many bars were outdoors, and there never seemed to be a place with the quiet corners that are abundant in ATL bars and clubs.

What I did see was a lot of bugs. Right now I am sitting here alternately typing and scratching the mosquito and ant bites up and down my legs and arms. As gracious as my host was, I have to give her shit for the fact that my stay started with "what the fuck are those," and ended with a purchase of a three pack of Raid's strongest Fumigators. So her new nickname is ...




Queen of the Ants!


Antagone, Queen of the Ants! Click here if you don't get the reference. It is very funny.

I also have to give a shout out to another friend of mine, who I am going to reference here as JD until I get some dirt on her. There is nothing like making a friend out of a girl that you met in front of a club on a rainy Thursday night. Plus it was cool having a friendly face watch me fence. Explaining the game to a newcomer does wonders for calming the nerves. Below is her shout-out; if you watch more TV commercials than I do, you may even recognize her.



It's too bad I don't drink Mike's Hard Lemonade anymore. My friends and I stopped buying it once it officially became a girl's drink. Great commercials though.
As for the real reason I was in Miami for so long - the 2007 Summer National Fencing Championships - well, that was a bit of a disaster. In the team event, our star fencer was wearing a spare set of glasses and he literally couldn't hit what he was aiming at. For my part, I did ok against higher rated fencers, except for the time I helped the team discover a new rule that earned a touch for the opposing team down the line.

My individual event was testimony that there is a God, and He is angry.




The full breakdown is here, but the long and the short of it is that electronics control the game. So no matter how hard I hit a guy, if my epees and cords aren't working, I won't get a point. And if I can't figure out the root cause of the problem in the middle of a high pressure bout, I'm screwed. Never mind I tested my weapons and the armourers certified my bodycords. So even though I tanked, the good news is that I know I am a better fencer than I was a few months ago - now I just need to make sure my shit works so I can actually win these things.

In spite of the heat, the overpriced drinks, and throwing my disfunctional bodycord into Biscayne Bay, it wasn't a bad trip. I got to see some old friends, made some new ones, and saw some great fencing. I'll be back to Miami - let's hope that the Almighty and I are on better terms when I return.

Oh, and topless beaches are the tits.

Heading to Miami Tomorrow

It has been two years since I have been on a week long vacation. The last one was in Iceland in 2005; the one before that was a grand tour of the midwest through Indianapolis, Chicago, St. Louis, with a quick jaunt to New Jersey. This time I will be staying with one of my friends in Coral Gables, about 20 min away from the fencing venue. Can't beat free.

I am bringing my camera, so there should be good pictures. I don't have an appropriate nickname for my friend, and she didn't like that she was called years ago by one of my fraternity brothers (something along the lines of "one of" and "hoes"), but she should have one by the time I get back.

I will be in town from June 28-July 9, fencing on July 2 and July 8 - hopefully all day. If you are in the area, hit me up in the comments. Wish me luck!

Tuesday Update - Who Parties on Monday?

Always bet on black.

Tuesday is the new Monday for me. Monday still has some excitement from 24 and random things going on, so Tuesday becomes the new "holy-crap-I-gotta-go-back-to-work" day.

Southeast sectionals was a bust last Sunday. I lost most of my bouts by a lot. It just wasn't my day. I will have a more detailed post mortem at Vader later this week. I wasn't too concerned when I found out that my event that started with 47 of some of the best male epeeists in the Southeast had grown to 74 of the best. I had a shot at qualifying for Division IA (top 25%) with 47 - at 74 there was little hope. The one A07 in my club barely qualified, and there are only two qualifiers from Georgia total. I am fencing in Division II for Nationals, that is good enough for this year.

The other annoying thing was that two cute fencer girls from Tennessee , one is on my Facebook, totally dissed me on Sunday. No love at all. I was hanging around waiting for pools, but not even a good luck wave. It was really weird - most fencers you will ever meet are friendly and gregarious at competition.

Monday was interesting. I hung out with two hot German girls, who are MBA students at Mississippi State. They were both 23 and wanted to party hard in Atlanta... on Monday. I put in a yeoman's effort to find something interesting - but we seemed doomed from the start. Midtown had a couple places open, but nothing was kicking, or worth leaving the neighborhood. Unfortunately, there was no consensus on simply hitting the liquor store and getting hammered at my place. Perhaps I need to stock Jagermeister in my freezer along with Goldschlager.

I did get to see 24 when we got back... it was actually pretty good. I was totally expecting the Chinese to kidnap Morris again; the pursuit of the kid was a nice twist. And having VPOTUS Daniels watch while his aide gets railed was kinda funny.

Happy Cinco de Mayo!

Mmmm... Coletrain, eres muy guapo!



Atlanta is having at least five huge blowouts for tomorrow's May 5 holiday, plus preparty's starting right now. I am hanging out with a friend, cute girl with a great ass, from out of town. Hopefully we will hang out, and I will be in bed in time to wake up at 5:30am to drive to Chattanooga to fence in the Southeast Sectional Championship. The event starts at 8am, and the field is extremely tough. Wish me luck!

Entering the Off-Season...

With the passing of the mostly lacklustre Pro Bowl, there is really nothing in sports worth watching until March Madness and the return of baseball. Period.

To help you get through the doldrums, you can check out fencing.coletrain.org and learn about my performance in the oldest and coolest of sports. I might even cover some international action too if it is a slow day at the office.

If you are ever in the North Atlanta area, and you just have to see basketball in any of its forms - head out to Olde Towne on North Cobb Parkway in Kennesaw. Sure you will be surrounded by folks who are definitely packing heat, but it is worth it. The food, typical bar stuffs, is excellent and cheap; and the waitstaff is filled to the brim with pretty girls who love to flirt and make your drinking and dining a memorable experience. Trust me on this one... no one has ever spent only $25 at the ESPN Zone and had a smile on his face.